Tag Archives: Wisdom

Don’t Read Obituaries. Live in the Moment!

Copy of _To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius._ _ Minna Antrim

 

This is Azrael’s advice to a dear friend of mine whom I’ve known for over ten years. We met in New Mexico at a museum conference. Arthur is one of the kindest soul’s I have met in this chaotic and often unpredictable world.

When I found out he reads obituaries as a daily ritual, I shared his story with Azrael. (Yes, I do talk to my dog.)  Azrael’s advice to Arthur is simple – “Ignore reading the obituaries – you’re not dead yet!”

None of us should read obituaries, because they are just another representation of our mortality. Instead of shaking our heads, feeling the loneliness of another person gone, and walking away with a heavier heart – we should be living our lives and be enjoying each second, minute, hour, and day given to us.

Life can change in an instant.

Live in the moment.

 

 

The Power of An Apology

Power of Apology

In deleting old emails I was reminded what the power of words can do in healing distressed and broken hearts. As I was going through all my saved emails from all the rescue organizations I’ve been a part of since 2011, I was reminded what the simple words of an apology can mean to another person or persons.

The small backstory from my latest momentous apology came when the people who I thought I known showed their true characters. Once that character was revealed on all sides – my heart told me to reach out to the people whom I wronged earlier. I did it immediately. Yes – I was scared to write the apology. I remember my hands shaking, my heart pounding as I typed my words out, but I did it. Even a tear slipped by… Then I pushed the send button. Pride had nothing to do with me being apologetic at that moment in time. I felt truly bad that the people whom I had trusted betrayed my trust and made me believe the worst in the people I was apologizing to.

But what if you don’t want to apologize? That’s perfectly normal because I had an opportunity to apologize to someone earlier this year. My logical side reasoned it was better to leave the past in the past. As a friend and I were recently discussing this – there are some people you don’t need to apologize to because the wounds run so deep its better to leave the door closed, because that apology may open that door again when it should’ve remained closed.

Here’s my guidance on reaching out with an apology…

Trust your heart and instincts when it comes to apologizing. If it weighs heavy on your heart and mind – then apologize.

Attitude and heart go hand in hand when it comes to apologizing. Apologies must be given with a good heart combined with the right attitude. If your heart is not in it for the right reason then that person(s) you’re apologizing to will see through your words., as well as your attitude. Sincerity can be seen both through your actions and read into your words whether in person or in writing.

The timing of the apology means everything as well. When it comes to apologizing there is no time limit. It doesn’t matter if its minutes after the deed or months or years later – the apology still says that you are deeply sorry for what transpired.

Leaving someone speechless after you apologize means your apology did what it was intended. It was your spoken or written words that meant the world to that person and was probably a blessing in disguise they’ve needed.

So if you’ve got someone you need to apologize to – do it. Find the courage to say the words and mean them.

We all can learn from each other. If I can inspire you to reach out to apologize to someone you’ve wronged – no matter how long ago it was – then me sharing this has done what I hoped it would do. Rise above yourself. Take pride out of the equation and do the right thing because the words of an apology have tremendous healing. Never underestimate what the power of an apology can do or mean.

What happened after I pushed the send button? Emails were received back that made me cry. The simple words of my apology brought healing and recognition that I should’ve been listening to these people all along. I listened to my heart. Friendship(s) resulted from that apology and I deeply cherish those friends in my life.

Now – go make that apology.

 

Graphic – ©Christena Stephens